Who Am I Becoming

Xenia Wickett

At the beginning of 2024, I sensed that this year would bring changes to my business. This led me to question my identity and aspirations, prompting me to focus on listening to myself, rather than on society’s expectations of me. This is a common experience, one that many professionals face at various points in their careers, and it's both unsettling and enlightening.

I’ve used many methods over the past few years to explore my identity. They’ve all added something. 

I’ve tried personality tests and I was particularly taken by Lumina Spark which reveals your underlying, everyday and overextended proclivities. I discovered that I exhibit divergent characteristics in different circumstances, suggesting to me that I have some versatility in how I can work – being both accommodating and tough, radical and cautious, demonstrative and measured.  

I learned about architypes in an ontological coaching training course. While there are many varieties, in this discussion we focused on four: sovereign, warrior, lover and magician. While I initially believed I was predominantly a sovereign with some warrior traits, I discovered that I was most comfortable and energized as a magician. This reminded me of the playful, fun, and enthusiastic 6-year-old me. 

These insights brought me back to a branding exercise I did before my last website development. Through discussions with close friends and colleagues, I defined my brand identity as smart, practical, and kind. I sought clients who valued integrity, high quality, and purpose, and I aimed to deliver in an open, honest, and impactful way. This exercise helped me understand how I wanted to be perceived and the kind of impact I aimed to make.

Understanding my future self has been crucial in guiding my daily actions and business decisions. It involves determining whether I want to work harder, take on more clients, engage more deeply, or strive for a better work-life balance. This forward-thinking strategy allows me to shape my professional journey in a way that aligns with my evolving identity.

So, what do I do with these insights? 

I’m working on pushing my boundaries, getting myself out of my comfort zone. Every Friday, I ask myself, "What did I try and fail at this week?" This practice encourages me to embrace challenges and regain the spirit of trying hard enough, reminiscent of my days as a skier when falling daily meant pushing my limits.

Initially, it encompassed five areas: speaking on geopolitics, moderation, strategy, executive coaching, and organizational change. This streamlined into three core services: speaking, moderation, and coaching. However, I now find myself integrating these disciplines more deeply. I rarely deliver a traditional geopolitical speech without also moderating a discussion and using coaching techniques to help my audience find practical applications. This holistic approach resonates strongly with both me and my clients.

So, who am I? I am in a state of flux, balancing my established brand traits with emerging playfulness, reflecting my ongoing personal and professional growth. This journey of self-discovery is continuous and ever-evolving.

Why do I write this? 

By sharing my reflections, I hope to help others realize that questioning one's path is normal and important. It's okay to be uncertain and to seek clarity through various methods. If my journey can provide comfort and inspiration to those facing similar uncertainties, then it's worth it. 

Embrace the questions, explore different strategies, and allow yourself to grow and change. We are all works in progress, and that's perfectly fine.