WHY WE NEED TO LISTEN MORE (AND BETTER)

Xenia Wickett - My mother

Why We Need to Listen More ( and BETTER)

Last month would have been my mother’s birthday. She was a phenomenally good listener. This talent made her wise. She always knew the right questions to ask. Sometimes she would come out with what appeared to be truly wild ideas; only later would we realise she had been reading the smoke signals and sensing which way the wind was blowing (like suggesting in 1989 that I should study Chinese – I didn’t).

Listening was her superpower.

I’ve just returned from the Raisina Dialogue, a major geopolitical forum in Delhi. The organiser, @Samir Saran, opened the event by urging us to take the time to truly listen to one another. I can’t think of a more critical time, or a more relevant place, to do so.

The Crisis of Not Listening

Whether in geopolitics, business, or personal life, real listening is in short supply. We talk past each other, assume bad faith, and dismiss viewpoints before we’ve understood them. This breakdown isn’t just frustrating—it has consequences.

At Raisina, we spoke about the need for collaboration—on climate, AI, and global security. To solve these challenges, we need to bridge differences, which requires listening not just to positions but to the underlying interests behind them.

During a late-night discussion, I raised the concern that as the US pulls its resources inward, a gap is emerging in global leadership. Europe, while willing, may not yet have the capacity to fill it. In that vacuum, I suggested, other players will step in. Someone responded that countries like Brazil, Indonesia, and South Africa had shown no desire to do so. Another participant diplomatically pointed out that if they believed that, they simply hadn’t been listening.

And she was right.

We don’t want to hear what India, Brazil, and South Africa have to say because their perspectives don’t align with our own. So, we tune them out. But ignoring voices doesn’t make them irrelevant—it just means we’re caught off guard when they act.

Sound familiar?

The Corporate Cost of Not Listening

The same problem exists within organisations. Leaders who fail to listen—really listen—to their employees end up with disengaged teams, poor decision-making, and a lack of innovation. Employees often know when a strategy isn’t working long before leadership does. Companies that don’t take employee feedback seriously suffer from high attrition, low morale, and missed opportunities.

Listening is also essential externally. Businesses that ignore customer signals lose market relevance. Entire industries have collapsed because they dismissed shifting consumer behaviour. The companies that thrive are the ones that listen—attentively, consistently, and with the intent to act.

Listening in Personal Relationships

On a more personal level, many conflicts—at home, at work, in friendships—don’t stem from what is said but from what is assumed. Active listening—fully concentrating, understanding, and responding—prevents unnecessary misunderstandings and strengthens trust.

A Challenge to Listen Differently

I’m reminded of watching washing-up liquid ads in the US years ago, baffled by how they could possibly be effective. Then I realised: I wasn’t the target market. The same applies to communication in general. Just because something isn’t framed in the style we’re comfortable with doesn’t make the underlying message invalid. Yet, too often, we dismiss arguments simply because they don’t fit within our intellectual or cultural framework.

In the US, the Trump administration isn’t listening. Neither is the MAGA crowd. But at the same time, many Democrats and moderate Republicans refuse to listen either. Their distaste is so strong that anything coming from the other side is, by definition, a lie or illegitimate.

This isn’t unique to the US. We see it everywhere—politics, business, personal life. We assume we already know what the other side is saying, so we don’t bother to hear them out. And in doing so, we lose the opportunity to challenge our assumptions, find common ground, or learn something new.

Decisions are improved by getting different perspectives. That doesn’t mean we have to agree. But if we refuse to even engage, we’re the ones missing out.

So, next time you feel yourself turning off—whether in a meeting, a debate, or a personal conversation—pause. Take a breath. Push back on your judgment for a moment. And listen.

I guarantee you, and the world, will be better for it.

Read more here about "Who I Am Becoming".